About Me

Ok, you have all been wondering what is wrong with me and why I've been sick and why I haven't blogged about it. Well, the MRI showed that I just had sinus blockage. I thought that was so silly, cause I never felt any kind of sinus pressure or blockage. But I thought to humor the dr's I would take some sudafed over the weekend and show them that it didn't work. Well, it worked in a way, but it also made me much sicker than I was before. It started unblocking some of my blockage in my sunuses, but it also started draining down, too. I got a fever (101 most of the weekend) and because it was draining, my throat was so swollen and hurting that even to drink liquid was so painful. It was the most miserable I've felt in a long time. So yesterday the dr called me in a prescription and I started taking it last night. I'm feeling much better, but still not 100% yet. My throat is still sore (but I can drink liquids at least) and my temperature is normal. So that is the story of me. I'm still alive, and now that I have medicine, I should be feeling like I'm alive again. Thanks for all the prayers and concerns. I'm glad it was just a small fixable thing, but I do feel kind of silly for making it out to be so big. But I guess we all live and learn. And like Scott told me, how was I to know it was all just sinus blockage? It was different than I'm used to with sinus blockage.

Anyway, another update for us. They have set the meeting we have to have for October 9th. It's a Thursday, and supposedly she is supposed to move in with us that weekend. I hope they didn't change their minds on us, because the foster mom told us last night that she had talked to a worker that said they might just hold off until December. But if they are having the meeting then I would assume she's moving in. I'll let you know if anything different happens. Keep praying.

Pray

Ok, this has nothing to do with adopting our daughter. This is a prayer request that could be simple or it could be serious. I'm only putting it on my blog because I don't know any information yet (until tomorrow) and those who read my blog can just be praying until I find out...and then I will let people know if it's serious....if it's not serious then I will have less people to tell. But I've been getting some pretty bad migraines and my meds have not been touching them. This weekend (since Saturday) I've had a pretty bad migraine, but it's been a little different than my other ones. But when Scott and his mom were trying to massage my muscles in my back and neck, they found a lump on the left side of my neck that is very painful to me and it's not in a muscle (that we know of). I have been home today not feeling good (migraine, nausea, neck pain, lightheadedness/dizziness) and I got the dr to listen to me and I'm going in tomorrow. I don't know exactly what it is, but my husband and my dad are even more worried than me. Scott is just worried cause he doesn't know what it is and my dad is worried cause he thinks he knows what it is and it could be fatal to me if not found soon. I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I understand that we as the children of God need to take all things to Him in prayer. Scott and I are watching this very close and we are not going to mess around. If anything gets worse we will be in to the ER getting it looked at, but I am pretty sure that I will make it in tomorrow and then I will have my answers. Thank you so much for praying. When I know something I will blog it, so keep checking. If it really is serious, and you are a friend or family member I will be calling you in person. If I don't call you then it's not serious and our prayers have been answered the way we want them to be. I will admit that I'm a little worried, but I'm going to trust in the Lord that He know's all things and all things are for His good (or will be used for His good). I love you all! And thank you for your prayers.

Still not moved in

I just don't think I can go into it right now (I'm feeling a little disgusted) but Marty is not moved in yet and we thought we had a date set that she had to be moved in by (the 30th) of this month....and now they just hope they can keep that date. What is their problem?? Anyway, I know it's short, but that way those of you keeping up with the blog can know what's going on....or not going on. Keep praying.

LIf is too busy

I read something once from James Dobson where he said that even a mother of a teenager would do good to be a stay-at-home mom if it allows. Well, our teenager isn't even moved in and I already feel that way. I get so tired by the time I'm done chasing 3-5 year olds all day and then come home to be a wife/mother(eventually full-time) and it takes a lot out of me. It really is like having two full time jobs. But it will work...I was just wanting to share that little bit of insight with everyone. So far things are going well (other than being busy) except that she's not moved in yet. We are getting a little frustrated with the other agency that they aren't getting things done. They were supposed to have sent some papers to SRS last Thursday or on Monday and I got an e-mail today that they hadn't gotten it done but would try to get it done today....and then we have to wait at least 10 days for SRS to do their part....all this before she can move in. I understand that we have to be patient, but it's very hard. Poor Martaysha can't understand why they won't just let her move in. And we have tried to let her know that even though we don't like it either, that we have to be patient (and nice to them...). We try very hard to encourage her throughout the week and keep her from getting angry about it. We told her we are already a family and we are all three here to encourage each other and make each other feel better....I think she liked that thought. She did tell us in a sweet note this past Sunday that she feels like the puzzle of her life is finally getting the pieces together. I wanted to cry, it was so moving. I think our family photo that gets put up on the wall I will get done into a puzzle and then frame it and it will be a symbol that our family puzzle is now coming together with all the pieces. What a great idea. Well, I better go. I have lots of things to do....busy, busy, busy. God bless you all!!!

Weekend in Alta Vista

We had so much fun in Alta Vista this past weekend....oh and at the Casting Crowns concert. It was Martaysha's first concert ever, and she loved it. We bought her a picture of them so she can have it and she put it in her school binder already. We also listened to our Casting Crowns cd over and over (but that's ok). Martaysha also had a blast camping with my family. She got to go swimming in the lake and tubing behind the boat. She absolutely loved it. I could tell she was exhausted last night when we brought her back to Ellinwood, though. She was getting very upset that we had to bring her back last night, too. She said she is ready to go and chew out the agency and tell them that she's just moving in. I guess she's ready to move in...lol. We are on the countdown though. They did say it would be in September...so it will be within a few weeks. She and I started getting some songs together to sing duets. One of them I think we will share with people when we have the adoption party (along with a song I'm singing for her). She's so much like me in that way.....music speaks to her just like it does for me. I love to use music to communicate my feelings (i guess that's the musician in me). Well, anyway, it was a great weekend. And hopefully in the next few weeks I can post that she is moved in. Keep praying.

Will she ever move in???

Well, another weekend closer to the big move. We are going to a therapy appointment tomorrow with Marty and this will be the deciding factor of how soon this will happen. If the therapist thinks that things are good and if there are no concerns, then it will be a go much faster than we thought. It could be within 2 weeks (I hope). It's getting so hard to leave her on Sunday nights. For us and for her. We can tell as we get closer to Ellinwood that she is quieter and more withdrawn. The mother in me just about dies when I have to watch this and know that she wants to stay with us, but we have to drop her off. Soon....I have to remember....soon. They told us no matter what it would be in September....so that's good. Well, anyway, I just wanted to share a little note on how things are progressing.

Poem

I was looking for special adoption gifts and poems, etc...and I found this poem that I thought was so beautiful. I printed it out with a pretty font and I plan to mat it and frame it and give it to Marty when the adoption is finalized (probably around March/April). Here it is....just don't cry on me (yeah right):

Not flesh of my flesh
Nor bone of my bone
But still miraculously my own
Never forget not for a minute
You weren't born under my heart
But in it

I don't know who wrote it, but it touched my heart.

Yet another weekend

Ok, we have Martaysha again. We are so ready to just have her move in with us. The weekends are going so well. We have a meeting tomorrow with a St. Francis worker (the one that really decides when it's time to move her in) and our social worker told Martaysha to bring up the fact that she wants to move in already. Our worker thinks that it might speed things up, or at least keep them on track. Martaysha is so excited for this Sunday (well, she's usually excited about Sundays...but this one is different) because she gets to sing with us on our worship team. In fact she asked to do a verse of a praise song, solo. She is such a good singer. She can hit every note with quite a bit of accuracy. Boy, does that warm my heart. I think it's so wonderful that God gave us a daughter that loves music as much as we do. She even asked me tonight if she could play the flute in church sometime. I told her if she practiced up a song, then she could. I have special music sometime in the month of September (I think towards the end) and Marty and I decided that we would sing a mother/daughter duet for it. We are going to pick out a song tomorrow and get her a copy to listen to and practice up for that time. Actually, if we can get things worked up good enough, we might sing a special next Sunday in Alta Vista. We are going there for Labor Day weekend and I know my parents and I will be singing a special at their church. How exciting. Someone actually mentioned to me (I can't remember who) that maybe we could be the next Judds.......well, ok we wouldn't be the Judds, but we could do a few duets. It's still so unbelievable that we finally get to be parents. In fact we were having a talk with Marty tonight about how sometimes it's hard to see what God is doing at the time, but looking back it's easier to see why some things happened. I brought up the month of April and the fact that we didn't get those two little girls. I was so devastated, but looking back I have no regrets because I can't imagine life without Martaysha. I know that God knew that we would get Marty, so He couldn't give us those other girls. What a great lesson to remember.....God does have plans for us that are good for us and not to harm us....even if we think they don't look the best at the time.

Another weekend

Well, we had yet another weekend with our precious daughter. We got to take her clothes shopping on Sunday. I thought it was fun. I actually had more fun finding clothes for her than I do for myself. And I love picking out clothes for me. But I had to giggle at Scott. He is so a stereotypical daddy. All I kept hearing (and I'm glad I did) was "Why do they make shirts like this? Are they all this bad?" LOL!!! I was glad that he was there to make sure that no indecent clothes got past. He made Martaysha get a white tank top and a white t-shirt to put under pretty much everything that we bought. Ok...I was right there with him. I agreed with everything he said. It was just so funny to see Scott. It's been different to watch him as a dad. It's not a bad thing, but it's just not a role I've seen him in until now. He's a good one, I'll tell you that. He won't admit it (too much) but I think he misses her just as much as I do when she's gone for the week. He's always telling her that he can't wait for her to live with us. He's so sweet. And I'm also very glad because I was looking at the basketball schedule for Healy and I will get to go to every game of Martaysha's. Anyway, gotta go for now. I'll blog more later.

Some pictures of our beautiful daughter!

Here are three pictures that I have of Martaysha. She and two boys at church were playing with our camera, so I wasn't sure what I would end up with....but these were my favorite pictures. Enjoy!

Prayer Request

Hi everyone. I just have a small prayer request for you all. We are really working on the social workers and other workers that are in charge of the adoption. We had been told that they wanted to go very slow with the process and even moving her in. Well, because things are going so well and Martaysha is begging to move in with us and get on with life in her new family we have been bugging some people that need bugged. It sounds like maybe they are starting to change their minds and maybe considering that our situation can move a little faster. We are not for sure how fast they will let us move, but I get the feeling that if we don't move a little faster than we are, Martaysha might get restless. Just be praying that they will change their minds and allow her to move in. We talked to Martaysha last night on the phone and Scott asked her why she liked us so much since we weren't that special. She told him that we didn't have to be special. I thought that was sweet. But anyway, just keep praying that things will move the way they are supposed to. Thanks a bunch.

*Update: I talked to our social worker, who talked to the other workers (you know how that goes) and right now they don't want to move any faster than 6 weeks. I get a little discouraged by that, but I also understand that there is a process to this. I am just trying to stay positive and remember that she is our daughter even if we have to wait for 6 weeks to get her moved in. We will work with it and praise the Lord for what He has done so far. But keep praying, because I know God can do anything. He may choose to change things, or He may keep them on the path they are going. It's all up to Him....He can see the big picture.

Weekend

These are the two pictures we took this weekend at Scott's parents house. We wanted to have pictures to show people when they asked about her. Here they are....we will be getting better ones done probably on the weekend of the 23/24th of this month.

Scott's girls!!!!

Our weekend went so good. She fits so perfect in our family. We got to do so many mother/daughter things. We tried on clothes, did some make-up and hair, we both love jewlery. It was so great. She was a total sweetheart this whole weekend. I don't think we will have any major problems....just the normal teenage ones that come with having a teenage daughter. She opened up to me some already (which I guess tells me she's comfortable with me). We had to bring her home last night and Scott and I talked on the way home that the van (we bought a new van on Friday) seemed way too quiet. Then today at lunch Scott said...."it's just not the same, it's too empty." He misses her just as much as I do....which is so sweet. He wants to just move her in. It's just like any daddy, I think he's already wrapped around her finger....lol. We are picking her up again this Friday (well I am) and we will have her until Sudnay evening...again. I can't wait for this to be over and have her her permanently. And she mentioned it quite a bit that she just didn't see why they couldn't let her move in with us. I think she has a theory of making that work....she left a bunch of stuff her. A pair of shoes, jewelry, some pictures. And she told me she was leaving them....I think she slowly plans to move things in until finally she won't have anything left at the foster home.....I kind of laugh at that. At least she's excited to move in and wants to be here. She's ready for a new family so bad. But anyway, enjoy the pictures and the update.

Keep watching

I just wanted to tell you to keep watching my blog. I am going to take pictures this weekend of us and Martaysha and I plan to post them asap. I have had a lot of people asking if we have pictures of her, so now I will have them. Pray that this weekend goes well for us. I'm a little nervous yet, that she'll get here and decide she doesn't like us. I don't think that will happen, but it's just one of those little voices that I fight.

Visit

We got to see her. Her picture doesn't even do her justice. She is so beautiful. Scott already said he was going to have to chase the boys away....and he said he plans on doing it. We have a protective daddy on our hands. And as we talked on the way home last night, he even said he already started feeling like her dad. It was a slow start to our evening, both she and I were a little shy...but by the time we had to leave I didn't want to leave her there and she didn't want us to go. She is going to be staying with us this weekend for a visit. I think it will go a little faster than they think it will and that she'll be moved in very shortly after school starts. I can't wait for that day....seeing her just made it so much more real that she's my daughter. The love just started over-flowing. Adoption is so truly a gift from God. Now I do know that things will not be perfect...she will make mistakes and of course so will we. But she is a perfect match to our family. We are interested in the same things, and we get along very well. When Scott would joke with her she got to where she'd just throw it right back. You can imagine how much that spoke to Scott. Oh...I can't wait to get her in our home. I love her so much and she's my daughter.

Picture of Martaysha

I thought maybe some people would enjoy seeing a picture of our new daughter. (she's on my mind just a little) I've been told by Scott's family, my family, and her foster mother that we look alike a little. That's all I'll say for now...enjoy the picture:

Today is the day!!!

Well, today is the day that we meet our daughter. I have butterflies. I just got done with her scrapbook that we will give her tonight that has pictures and letters from our families. I hope she likes it. I can't believe it's here already. But yet, it still doesn't seem real. It's like I know what's going on...but like it's just a dream, or maybe it's all fake. But I bet after tonight it will all be as real as anything. And maybe after we meet her I will start acting normal again....instead of running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get things done. I get the feeling that tonight might also be kind of hard. I think that Martaysha will ask to come home with us. Our social worker will be there with us since it's the first visit.....and a part of me kind of hopes that she will say "go ahead. just take her home." But the other part of me says that she will make sure that the weekend visit is a later date. Either way, I can handle it. It helps knowing that she's ours no matter what. The only way this won't happen now is if we say no.....and that just isn't going to happen. I also can't wait for everyone around us to meet her and get to know her. I think it's hard for them to feel like it's real. That's just the way it goes I guess. Well, since it is like 3:15 in the morning, I should go to bed. That way I get some sleep and am a little rested to meet Martaysha. I'll post when we get back (either tonight or on Wednesday) just so everyone knows how things went. Keep praying.

Meeting Marty

Well, we set the date and time to meet Martaysha. We will be going to see her on Tuesday and will get to her foster home about 6:30 or so. We are so excited. I've been such a basket case all week, and I feel like I'm finally turning back into a normal human being. I'm still excited, but the excitement has turned from wacky and crazy, to just normal excitement. Keep praying for us that we would be Godly parents and know the right decisions to make in different situations. But we are sticking with God on this, and plan to let Him guide us fully in our parenting. Thanks for all the prayers we have already had go up for us. That includes people praying that God would bless us with a child. It's finally here, God has chosen this time for us to be parents. Isn't He awesome?!?!?

Update.....again.

Ok, we read her profile. We know that we will go through with it. Now we have to meet her. They wanted us to wait a few days before saying yes (which we will....no doubts at all). We have been told that if we say the word tomorrow or Monday we can meet her as soon as Tuesday evening. I hope that it works out to do that. I can't wait to meet her. We got her letter yesterday when we read the file. I loved the letter and we could sense her excitement. Our only concern is that we won't know how to handle a teenager, but we will take it one day at a time and learn as we go (just as with any parent). Just pray for us that we will move forward as slow or fast as we need to.

THE NEWS!!!

The call came in. We were selected. It is a for sure thing, but they changed a few of the plans we had. We were going to meet her and pick her up tomorrow, but some of the people in the meeting wanted us to go slower, so we are just reading the profile tomorrow and we will set up a meeting sometime after that. It would be nice if we could meet her (and not take her home) and then do the weekend visit another time. But we will talk to her tomorrow and see what can be done. But I can wait until a later time to meet her and bring her home, knowing that we got selected and she will be our daughter. I better go, because I'm now emotionally drained and I might go take a nap or rest. Keep us in your prayers.

Great Song

I don't think I've ever posted like 3 times in one day. I guess it's one way to try and keep my mind busy. But last night I had two girls spend the night (it was a blast) and we downloaded a bunch of songs onto my ipod. One of them was a Rascal Flatts song (I love them) and it is a good song. It can be a love song, a christian song, or tonight as I was driving back from Dighton I realized there is one more way you can take this song. Just think about an adopted mother bringing her child home (like with me and Martaysha) and read the words.


The Day Before You

I had all but given up on finding
The one that I could fall into
On the day before you
I was ready to settle for
Less than love and not much more
Thre was no such things as a dream come true
Oh, but that was all the day before you

Now, you're here and everythings changing
Suddenly life means so much
I can't wait to wake up tomorrow
And find out this promise is true
I will never have to go back to
The day before you

In your eyes I see forever
Makes me wish that my life never knew
The day before you

The Heaven knows the years without you
Shaping my heart for the day I found you
You're the reason for all that I've been through
Then I'm thankful for the day before you

Now you're here and everythings changing
Suddenly life means so much
I can't wait to wake up tomorrow
And find out this promise is true
I will never have to go back to
The day before you

Was the last day that I had to live alone
And I'm never going back
No, I'm never going back

Now you're here and everythings changing
Suddenly life means so much
I can't wait to wake up tomorrow
And find out this promise is true
I would never have to go back to
Yeah, I'll never have to go back to
The day before you