Ok, yes I had a hard time when we did not get the two girls in April. And now here we go again and we have submitted our names for another girl. We are very, very nervous about this. Of course we are nervous that we might not get picked....but we are more nervous that we might get picked. You see, we have always wanted to adopt a young child (or even an infant) and the girl we are waiting to hear about is 13. WOW!!! Can we really handle having a teenage girl in our home? Will we know what we are doing? Our family reassures us that we will be fine....I hope they are right. The thing that is different about this one is that our social worker thinks we will be perfect for her and she is also the young girl's social worker. This is different than before. We are also the only ones who have submitted our names and we have been told that they are not going to wait for others to submit their names.....since the girl is a teenager already they want to find her a home asap. Our social worker also said that they have talked about trying to get her into her adoptive home before school starts (or very shortly after it starts). This gives us maybe 2 months before they might try and get her moved in. Usually they say not to rush that much, but I guess the girl is so ready to be adopted that she is ready to move whenever she can when they find her a home. AAAAHHHHH!!!!! Are we really ready? I'm just so nervous I can't even tell you the feelings that I have. To be perfectly honest, I'm nervous that I won't accept this girl as my own daughter. I think that is a normal fear when adopting, but that is my fear right now. She deserves a family that will accept her as their own and no questions asked. I've been told that when you adopt the feelings just miraculously happen and that you feel as if they are your own and they always have been. I hope this happens. It will be different than an infant adoption because we will not have known her since she was an infant....we will just now get to know her. We are also nervous because of the experience we had this past fall with the young boy in our home. He was a lot of work, and we sacrificed a lot with him in our home. He also had some major behavior issues that we had to deal with. Our social worker has told us that we will not have the major issues with this girl that we did with that boy. I hope they aren't as bad. But if they are, we will just deal with them as we did with the other situation.
Please help us not to be nervous about this. Please give us the courage and strength to do this if we are chosen. I pray for me right now that if we don't get chosen that I won't get so down that I give up in trying to have children or adopt children. Guide us in whatever you have for us. We choose to follow your will that you have for us. And if we have children we will love and give you the praise and if we don't have children we will love and give you all our praise. Thank you so much for what you have done for us. I love you and I give you the praise and the glory.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Well, summer is getting busy for me. I have a lot of travel plans. This coming weekend Scott and I are going to Branson. The weekend after I'm going with our youth group to a youth conference in Hays. The weekend after that I play in Garden City the morning of the 28th, then I leave for Minnesota and stay for the week after that. Then in July, we have a relay for life, another youth conference in Colorado Springs, then sometime after that my mom, sis-in-law, sister, and niece are going on a woman's trip...somewhere. Don't know where yet. WOW!!! Before I know it school will be starting again. But that's ok. It's better to be busy than be so bored that I don't know what to do with myself. Maybe that will help me keep my mind off of trying to have a baby. But the bad thing is that I'll be gone so much that I might not be around enought to "try." Well, I just wanted to post something to let people know that I haven't gotten lost. I'm still here. God Bless you all!!!