Winter in more than one way

I have decided that it's winter in more than one way. It is winter outside (and it's a bad winter) with snow and ice. But it also seems like winter in our lives. It seems like we are at the lowest point of our lives (together). We have been fighting the cancer for almost a year now and I have to say that I'm sick of it. There are times that I just want to scream, hit, or throw something. I can't wait until the spring, literally and in our lives. I can't wait until this is all over and we can start over fresh and new without the cancer. Maybe if that happens we can start to worry about getting pregnant again. Looking back it seems silly that we worried so much (ok, I worried so much) about trying to get pregnant. I want kids, but I couldn't imagine going through this cancer with kids to take care of. Oh, I would do it if I had to, but isn't it great how God does know what is best in our lives. All I can say is: "Hurry up, Spring!"

Ok, now to let you all in on what's happening so far. Of course we had Scott's surgery and that all went well and the eye is healing great, (and I still have to share my God story). We go back on Monday and I'm guessing we will find out the results then. If the results say no cancer, then we are done for now (unless it comes back). But, if it is cancer we go again for surgery and they will take enough of the eyelid that the eyelid will have to be reconstructed. I'm a little scared, but I shouldn't be I guess (0r should I). Scott is feeling good right now, the eye isn't as swollen and it's not as purple (it's more red now). I hope he can handle another surgery if we have to. He should, he's tough. And I'll be right there for him.

Ok, I have to share this (only because it turned out so well) but this morning Scott was going to Hays for something at work and he and another guy took a Sharp Bros. truck. Well, about 11:30 he called me and told me he had been in an accident. Ok, I stayed pretty calm (unlike me) and he told me nobody was hurt and that they were ok, just shaken up. He said they were on interstate and they were going over a bridge and a semi was trying to pass them. I guess they lost control and thought they were going over the bridge, thank goodness they made it past the bridge, missed the semi, and just ended up in the ditch. He said they didn't roll, but they almost did. If I had known how bad it was out there I wouldn't have felt ok about him going. I would have made him stay home (if that's even possible). But at least no one was hurt. The ironic thing was that one of my first thoughts was, "I would rather have him alive to fight the cancer than gone." I mean come on, I want the cancer gone, but when his life is threatened by something else I pray that he sticks around to fight the cancer. It's funny how a person thinks sometimes. Well, I'm gonna go hang out with my sister. I'll try and remember to come back and tell my God story and let everyone know how things are going. We love you all!