I have had a rough time lately. I'll admit it. And yes, I'll also admit that I'm not the only one with tough things in life (some are even worse than my situation), but can I also say that I do get selfish and all I can see is my problems. I'm working on that, I really am. Actually God has been pounding some things into my head lately (well, not quite pounding...just showing). It seems that everywhere I look God keeps telling me that it's not about what happens to you...it's about a commitment to follow Him no matter what. Thru good times and bad times. It's about trusting Him and His will in all situations. Even when you don't understand anything that's going on. I've read a book (twice...and listening to it on cd now in Sunday School), and I've watched a movie, and I have even heard a sermon that have all stated this same thing. The book is called "The Shack" the movie is called "Though None Go With Me" and the sermon was by our pastor today at church. You'd think that after all of that I would finally understand. Well, I'm not sure I understand completely, but I have decided to do what an old hymn says (from the movie I watched) :
"Though none go with me still I will follow
No turning back, no turning back"
It's a hymn called "I have decided to follow Jesus." It's making me realize now that I don't know that I completely had decided to follow Jesus. I had asked Him into my heart, but I was only willing to follow if things went my way. It's not any easier and in fact it is a hard decision. But in the end it's all worth it. I just pray that I can keep this commitment no matter what. I am still grieving, in fact I had a bad day today. But I will follow even in the midst of my pain.