It's been too long....again.

When I was up in Monnesota a few weeks ago, my Grandma and my sister-in-law told me that I needed to start blogging again. I was told that they look forward to it. So I decided to get started....again. We've been so busy since February (the last post). Most people that read this will know that Scott lost his eye in October. So I guess all the posts that said I was tired of the cancer and wanted it gone are over. We don't have any cancer to worry about anymore....as long as it didn't spread. Now I guess we need to start thinking about starting our family. I'm a little leary yet. We had a little boy in our home and let's just say that he was great birth control. I even told Scott I wanted to quit "trying." So we were actually in preventive mode. That is until we went to Minn. at the beginning of November. We had a little "fling" and now it has me wondering if I'm pregnant. I've been having symptoms (like getting sick, food cravings, sore areas on my body, etc.). I keep waiting for the "special visitor", but she won't show up. Is it my time? Was God just waiting for me to really give it up? And trust me I had given it up. I even told people I refused to have kids after that little boy. I think my words were something like, "I am never having kids after this little boy." Now that I think of it, Scott told people he was never getting married and then he married me like 2 or 3 years later. (which means he met me shortly after he said that). Scott told me around the time that I maybe got pg that he felt that God was telling him we were going to get a blessing. But he wasn't sure what kind of blessing. Then my Grandma Gayle told me that she prayed very hard that same week that we would concieve. If I am pg, the baby is due around Scott's birthday (July 26). And then I've had those people tell me they think I'm having twins.....I guess we'll see.
Now I'm rambling really bad. That's what happens when you don't blog for months and months. I'm hoping to make this a regular part of life again. Scott told me that it's good for me to blog. I get all my feelings out and others can see what's going on with us. I guess if I am pg you will all know it very shortly. Maybe it can be our way of giving a great Christmas present to everyone. I've always wanted to announce our pregnancy at Christmas. Well, I'll stop for now so this isn't too long. And if I forget to blog regularly, remind me to do it. I guess I will end this like I used to end my posts.

Lord, I've been struggling. I've had some losses in my life lately. Our baby Amanda Joy in August, Scott's eye in October, and my Grandpa in November. Lord, please help me to lean on you in all this. I also pray that Your will would be done in this pg situation. I will choose to love you no matter what. If I'm pg I will love you and if I'm not I will still love you. You know what is best for us and even if we want something you know when it's the best timing for us to have it. Thank you so much for all you have done for us. I love you!