Music speaks to me

No, I didn't write this song. But it speaks so much of how I feel right now. I haven't heard it in years, but it's from a great movie (A Walk To Remember). I "accidently" found it tonight after some struggling with God. He wanted me to talk with Him about my life...and I didn't want to. But this song is for Him and Him alone. God is my only hope.


There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold,
but you sing to me over and over and over again

So I lay my head back down
and I lift my hands and pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope

Sing to me the song of the stars
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far,
sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again

So I lay my head back down
and I lift my hands and pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope

I give you my destiny
I'm giving you all of me
I want your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs
I'm giving it back

So I lay my head back down
and I lift my hands and pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my
Only hope


I'm still not completely better yet, but singing this song makes me feel a little better. It makes me spend time with God, which reminds me that He is the only one who can really comfort me. I do need Him....especially right now when I feel the way that I do. I still feel like I'm not good enough, but at least God hasn't abandoned me. I still hurt.....I still long for things I can't have.....but He's here with me holding me and crying with me.

God, please hold me. I can't do this without you. I hurt so much. I feel overwhelmed. I feel worthless. You are my only hope. I know that I need to be content in what you have given me....but please forgive me that I can't seem to quit longing for what my heart desires and won't give up. I want to feel loved and accepted. I want to do something that people can be proud of. But right now I just want to say to you, Lord, that no matter how I'm feeling, I will not curse Your name. I will not deny You. I will hold to You no matter how hard it may seem at times. Even when it feels like I'm all alone in the world, be with me....because I don't want to leave Your side. God, my prayer is the song above. I don't ask for a quick fix or healing...just for you to comfort me.